Yeah, I get it. You want to do it yourself. You don’t want to have to rely on anyone to support you. You don’t want to bring anyone else down or count on anyone to be there for you. Got it.
I hear this type of talk regularly and want you to understand something very important and crucial to the human existence.
WE NEED PEOPLE.
We need people to support us, love us, tell us what we are doing is not ok, be kind to us, help us, encourage us, be quiet with us, have fun with us, teach us, grow with us, cry with us, tell us the truth, and hold us.
WE NEED PEOPLE.
It can be so hard to allow the need for others to be met. Here are some reasons why.
- It could be the message we got from parents both verbally and non-verbally to not need others.
- It could be the best friend who blabbed all your secrets and taught the lesson that people you are close to cannot be trusted.
- Maybe your favorite teacher shamed you in front of the whole class.
- The BFF co-worker who put you down at the team meeting to make herself look better.
- It could be the person who you loved stopped loving you back.
- The idea that everyone we love dies, so why get close.
There are many reasons the belief to rely on others get tainted. Experiences are had that affirm this belief and patterns develop.
Therapy is an opportunity to undo this learning and work through issues of trust, shame, feeling burdensome, depression, anxiety, and a host of other ways of being and feeling that occur when we come from a place of not needing people.
Relationships are everything in this world. Think about it? Relationship with people, pets, events, things, you name it, it is the relationship that matters.
The relationship with a therapist, whether a child, teen, or adult is a place where expression and healing can happen. Both verbally and non-verbally a relationship of acceptance and humanness is offered. It is an exceptional thing to be accepted as is and to have one’s strengths be seen. Each relationship is so remarkably different. No two therapies can be the same.
We can heal old relationships and hurt. We can put to rest negative patterns when we take time to work on our stuff. It is a beautiful process.