Do you remember your 5th-8th grade self? If you are like me, you may remember a variety of selves that showed up. Transitioning from a kid to a teen in the matter of 4 short years. From changing bodies to older topics of conversations to getting in and out of braces. Then there is the labeling yourself, judging others, trying to find your place, changing relationships with your family members and friends, and seeing yourself in a whole new way. And then there is the more modern day changes from no phone to phone and from texting to use of social media platforms.
I believe these years are extremely critical to our development and are a window of opportunity. Kids and teens can still hear us. I see it all the time in my work; kids who are spouting out their family values, words, and beliefs. Towards the junior high time though, many parents feel like their kids stop listening to them. This time is when it can be helpful to have your child hear positive messages from other people.
Deep down inside of me is a teacher with wisdom to share with younger people. While I don’t have all the answers, I believe I do have a knowing based on my own experiences, the experiences of others, and my training to help guide, share, and inspire.
There are a lot of things I wish I would’ve known and why I feel so compelled to run Wise Girl Workshops. Here are a few:
- That feeling you get when you start eating a lot of food when you aren’t even hungry or you find yourself drinking faster, that’s anxiety. There are healthy things you can do when you recognize that feeling to take care of yourself and watch it pass.
- You can be the person you want to be and you will also have challenges within yourself. That’s ok. You don’t have to be perfect.
- You are enough and can love yourself as is AND you can also work to better yourself all at the same time. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
- You can make good decisions for yourself and seek guidance from the loving adults around you. It is ok, and people approve of you asking for help.
- We all want attention. You don’t have to seek it out in unhealthy ways and succumb to pressure from others in order to be seen.
- We are all just trying to find our place. It’s ok to feel sad, worried, scared, and lonely. It’s ok to talk to someone who cares about you when you feel this way. You aren’t weak. You are human. And you don’t have to happy all the time.
- You can dream big and make things happen.
- You don’t have to sit quietly when comments, gestures, or requests are made that make you uncomfortable. Stand up for yourself. Set limits with others.
- Allow yourself and others to try on different ways of being without judgement. We are all going through it. No one way is right.
- Give yourself permission to embrace your strengths. From academic success to athleticism, to being funny and caring. It all counts!
- No one ever starts out using substances and intends to be addicted. It can happen to anyone.
What do you wish you would’ve known?