Who I Used To Be

Before I had children, I was an outdoorsy girl. Relentless trips to the mountains. Biking, hiking, snowshoeing, climbing, swimming, camping, yoga by river. Whatever it was, I loved the mountain air.

Times have changed and so has my ability to do the things I once loved to do. No taking off for Tahoe on a whim after a days work. Not without a boat load of luggage and some serious planning.

There was a time I struggled with not being able to do what I wanted to do anymore. But somewhere, in some time, it shifted. While I still long for the spontaneity and the freedom, it now comes in a different package.

Spontaneity creeps out when deciding to go to the coast for an hour or taking my sweet dog Noelle out on our local trails. Or when I go to bed on a Saturday night at 8PM after loading my belly full of just what I wanted.  I am spontaneous with little surprises that bring lots of joy to myself and my family, like a breakfast out or family movie night in.

And freedom.  I have the freedom to be as silly as I want to be.  I have the freedom to read, write, discover, and learn all the things I was too busy to learn because I was constantly on the move.  I have the freedom to be the kid I buried long ago in the attempt to be older, cooler, and more accepted.

So I’ll take it.  While it may not elicit the excitement I imagined others felt when looking at my adventurous life, its what i have now, today, in this moment.  And while it took me awhile to really fully embrace it, I have arrived.


I embrace the life I live today.