Wise Girl Workshops Joins With Girl Scout Troop

This November, 24 girls in 6th-8th grades embarked on a 2 day Journey and Wise Girl Workshops headed to Windsor, CA to be a part of it!  An amazing group of Girl Scout Cadettes worked diligently to earn their Journey Badge.  What an honor it was to help them think more about friendships, bullying, and how to handle conflict. I was struck by how engaged each girl was and how they gave great thought to each of the questions they worked on in their small groups.

From this event, I got to thinking how busy young girls are in their own lives and the drive to produce and get better is all around them, even for girls in 6th-8th grade.  These kids are already thinking so hardcore about their future.

There is a pressing anxiety in the world.  Who has time to think about friendship, bullying, and how to handle conflict?  The message kids get when their isn’t time to talk about these important areas of their life?  Just shove your feelings inside and move on.  It’s not important. Just keep moving forward.

This workshop allowed girls to slow down and think about some of the most pressing issues of their developmental time.  Friendship is an essential part of growing up and helps set the stage for how we function in life with others.

Upon ending the workshop the girls shared a few words on how the time we spent together made them feel.  Girls said things like they felt informed and educated.  Girls said they were relieved to talk and hear from one another.  Some of my favorite feedback of the day?  “Better.”  So many girls felt “better” after talking together.   I couldn’t ask for anything more.

Wise Girl Workshops mission to to change the world one girl at a time.  Thanks Windsor, CA Girl Scout Troop #11302 for valuing girls and giving them the time they need to think and do what is truly important.

 

Final Wise Girl Workshops of Summer 2017!

Running Wise Girl Workshops is no small task, and I am thrilled and honored to support girls in 5th-8th grade around areas of anxiety, making wise decisions, developing healthy coping skills, increasing self-esteem, and spreading more kindness to their peers and the world.

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I Wish I Had Known

Do you remember your 5th-8th grade self?  If you are like me, you may remember a variety of selves that showed up.  Transitioning from a kid to a teen in the matter of 4 short years.  From changing bodies to older topics of conversations to getting in and out of braces.  Then there is the labeling yourself, judging others, trying to find your place, changing relationships with your family members and friends, and seeing yourself in a whole new way.  And then there is the more modern day changes from no phone to phone and from texting to use of social media platforms.

I believe these years are extremely critical to our development and are a window of opportunity.  Kids and teens can still hear us. I see it all the time in my work; kids who are spouting out their family values, words, and beliefs.  Towards the junior high time though, many parents feel like their kids stop listening to them.  This time is when it can be helpful to have your child hear positive messages from other people.

Deep down inside of me is a teacher with wisdom to share with younger people.  While I don’t have all the answers, I believe I do have a knowing based on my own experiences, the experiences of others, and my training to help guide, share, and inspire.

There are a lot of things I wish I would’ve known and why I feel so compelled to run Wise Girl Workshops.  Here are a few:

  1. That feeling you get when you start eating a lot of food when you aren’t even hungry or you find yourself drinking faster, that’s anxiety.  There are healthy things you can do when you recognize that feeling to take care of yourself and watch it pass.
  2. You can be the person you want to be and you will also have challenges within yourself.  That’s ok.  You don’t have to be perfect.
  3. You are enough and can love yourself as is AND you can also work to better yourself all at the same time. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
  4. You can make good decisions for yourself and seek guidance from the loving adults around you.  It is ok, and people approve of you asking for help.
  5. We all want attention.  You don’t have to seek it out in unhealthy ways and succumb to pressure from others in order to be seen.
  6. We are all just trying to find our place. It’s ok to feel sad, worried, scared, and lonely.  It’s ok to talk to someone who cares about you when you feel this way.  You aren’t weak.  You are human.  And you don’t have to happy all the time.
  7. You can dream big and make things happen.
  8. You don’t have to sit quietly when comments, gestures, or requests are made that make you uncomfortable.  Stand up for yourself.  Set limits with others.
  9. Allow yourself and others to try on different ways of being without judgement.  We are all going through it.  No one way is right.
  10. Give yourself permission to embrace your strengths.  From academic success to athleticism, to being funny and caring.  It all counts!
  11. No one ever starts out using substances and intends to be addicted.  It can happen to anyone.

What do you wish you would’ve known?

Don’t Let Anxiety Boss You Around

If you or your family member suffers from anxiety, chances are you are being bossed around by it. Anxiety might say things like:

“Don’t do that!”
“You can’t do that!”
“Don’t go!”
“Call me when you leave!”
“Text me when you get there!”
“Don’t leave before I tell you to!”
“This is going to be bad!”

Now notice there is an exclamation point after each of these statements. This is because if it were said in a calm, cool manner, it wouldn’t be anxiety. Anxiety has an urgent fretful tone to it, warranting the exclamation. If you hear this more urgent tone coming from yourself or your loved one, odds are good, it is anxiety trying to push you around.   Even if you aren’t the one suffering directly, anxiety has been known to be contagious and make others around them feel it too.  ​The whole system gets impacted.

Who likes to be bossed around? (The crowd goes silent.)

So what does one do when anxiety is bossing them around?

1. Once you recognize anxiety is there and possibly bossing you, take a deep breath, maybe even a few to make room in your brain to think rationally about what is happening and what you will do next.

2. Decide if the anxiety is warranted. Ask yourself questions like, “Am I really in danger?” “What will actually happen if I don’t text my kid every 5 minutes from the grocery store as he demanded?”

3. If you are in danger, worry away and get yourself to a safe spot.

4. If are not in any real danger, which most likely is the case, begin to use your logic to talk yourself off the ledge. “Who is talking here? Me or anxiety?” “What is actually going to happen if….?”

5. Soothe yourself by talking calmly to yourself. “I am going to be ok.” “She’ll be back in 30 minutes.”

6. Do something to give your mind a break from the anxiety after you have gone through these steps. We don’t want to avoid our feelings but we do want to give ourselves a bit of space if we are feeling flooded by them, and we do want to move on after we have gone through the steps. No need to stay stuck.

7. Have a party! Recognizing when anxiety is bossing you around and choosing to do something different other than let it take control of you is definitely worth celebrating!

AFFIRMATION

I handle anxiety with ease.

The Private Practice Fundamentals Group Starting This March!

A Group by sierra dator

Motivating Kids- Public Speaking Event

Tomorrow I have the great privilege of motivating kids at one of our local junior high schools through imagery, activity, and or course, eating candy.  I am thrilled to have the opportunity to teach kids about empathy, compassion, judgement, and assumptions.  I am going to end with this amazing find: