Motivation For Girls During The School Year

Teen girls studying by water

What used to fuel your girl to keep going during the school year might not be existing any longer. Maybe it was seeing her friends, having others view her as smart, sporting an outfit she loves, having a positive relationship with her teacher, enjoying a class, or her extracurricular activities that were keeping her moving and motivated to do well.


We are all motivated by intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation is what comes naturally from inside of us. The drive to do well and succeed. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside of us. It comes in the form of praise, being recognized by others, and earning something like the first chair in band class or being a starting player on her soccer team. Oftentimes they coexist.


The problem girls face today is they aren’t getting much of the extrinsic motivation the school environment used to provide. Keeping your camera off on zoom, only seeing one another from the torso up, and no longer having any organic conversation inside or outside of the classroom is taking a toll on kids staying motivated. Girls aren’t having the extracurriculars that for some girls made school worth it.

So what can we do about this dilemma?


We can teach our girls about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation and help our girls create their own forms of motivation. I would encourage you to ask her questions about what she feels she is missing and invite her to share her experience. Meet her with empathy. With that said, see if there are any organic openings to create motivation. You might have to teach her about this idea. The catch is, it’s going to look different than before. Making a mug of hot chocolate after her grueling Trigonometry class. Watching a movie with friends, even virtually, after getting her paper done. Heading to Michael’s to get some art supplies to celebrate getting a B or higher on her psychology assignment.

Now I know many parents feel disturbed at the idea of buying their kids rewards. For the record, do not promise big screen tvs, the latest iphone, or exotic trips. Teach them about earning within reason. When we first get a job, we don’t get thousands of dollars. Here in CA, you will earn just over $15 for one hour of work. Use monetary rewards reasonably. Yes I will buy you a $15 app if you have no missing assignments at the end of the week. No, I will not buy you a game system for getting an A on your test.


Above all, we want our girls to experience intrinsic motivation. We want them to have drive. But the reality is we are motivated extrinsically, and that’s ok. I hope you go to work because you love your job, but I bet you are motivated in part by your paycheck. These two motivations are not always mutually exclusive.


In closing, I wish you and your family the best in this new wave of the parenting journey!

Credits


Article inspired by Lisa Damour’s recent post on “How to Do School When Motivation Has Gone Missing” in the NY Times


Photo Credit by @bethlaird on Unsplash

Happy New Year!

To all those seeking to climb, move, or shake mountains.

To all those who have overcome mountains and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

To all those who are looking forward and not going to let any mountain stand in their way.

To all those who need to just kick back and think about what the mountain in their life means or appreciate the mountain they are on.

Wishing you all a New Year full of just what you need. Many blessings. ❤️

8 Tips For Dealing With Anxious Spiraling Thoughts

Spirals can be beautiful to see and touch.  Staircases, shells, labyrinths, art work.  But anxious mind spirals are not beautiful.  They suck our energy, scare us, and can last for a long, long, long time.

Anxious mind spirals are when our thoughts start to ramp up and bring us down.  Our thoughts keep leading from one negative thought to the next, and one might feel trapped in the anxiety and negativity.  It’s kind of like punching yourself in the face over and over again, and it feels like you can’t stop.  Brutal!

If you are catching yourself getting caught in a spiral, here a few things you can do.

1. Name it. This is an anxiety spiral.  Awareness is the first step to making changes.

2. Breathe into it.  Take some deep breaths and remind yourself this will pass.

3. Remind yourself.  You are not a mind reader or fortune teller, and all this forecasting isn’t helping you.

4. Be present.  Bring yourself into the room and out of your head. Name everything you see in great detail.

5. Empower yourself.  Am I going to sit with this all day or am I going to use my time in the way I want to? 

6. Stop feeding the spiral with your thoughts.  When you have a thought label it as a thought and not a truth.

7. If you can’t stop, change scenes and move.  Whether it be dropping to the ground to count how many push ups you can do or going outside and walking briskly around your neighborhood, you can reset your system by moving your body and moving locations.

We all have a lot to learn from one another.  Any tips you have for getting out of an anxiety spiral?

Back To School Social Struggles

Many kids right now are struggling to find where they fit. Maybe they started a new school or new classroom. Maybe the social scene has changed with the addition of a new kid to the grade.

Whatever it is, some kids are unsure of how to find their place.

What can you do if this is your child? I am so glad you asked.

  1. Talk to them. Ask them to share about their day. Who they ate lunch with. Who they played with at recess or hung out with at break. Understand what their social landscape looks like.
  2. Help them gain another view of the social scene. Listen for who might be a good fit for them and point it out.
  3. Empower them by pointing out their strengths.
  4. Dialogue about how to make new friends or get closer with others. Give them language to try on.
  5. Normalize that many kids are struggling with the same issue. Even though kids may look to be a part of a group doesn’t mean they actually feel it or want to be a part of it. They may be open to making a new friend, but may hang with an unfit group because they don’t see any alternative.
  6. Limit your judgement about your kid or someone else’s. Parents can get awfully triggered by social dynamics and start to point fingers and put kids down. Be sure to understand what is your own stuff getting kicked up. Try to remain in a supportive place for your kid and get out of the judgement zone.

Why Your Girl Needs A Worry Free Toolkit Today!

“She is always asking the same questions over and over. Even though I answer her, she keeps asking again. I think she’s anxious, and I don’t know how to help her.”

“My daughter seems fine all day and then when she lays down to go to bed at night, she is flooded with worry about everything. It is interrupting her sleep. And then she worries about not getting enough sleep. It’s an endless cycle!”

“She is a really fun, outgoing kid in so many ways, however, when it comes to talking with kids her own age, she shuts down. I am worried she isn’t making friends.”

“I want my daughter to have the tools she needs to deal with things that worry her. I want her to feel like she can support herself and not have to rely solely on me.”

“Her tummy hurts all the time. We have gone to the doctor several times who said this is anxiety. Can you help her?”

“I tell her all the time what she can do to help herself, but she won’t do it. I have read books and listen to podcasts, but she won’t budge. We need help!”

I get tons of calls each week from parents looking for help for their girl just like the one’s described above. While I don’t want girls suffering, I do love these calls because I have the knowledge, training, and tools to help your child reduce their anxiety and improve their ability to cope.

Wise Girl Workshops Worry Free Toolkit is chalked full of activities and exercises to build an arsenal of tools to support your daughter when anxiety strikes. Not only that, your child will learn how to recognize when anxiety is starting to rear its ugly head.

One of the best parts this workshop also offers is for girls to feel and see they aren’t alone. Girls love to connect with one another about life’s challenges. It helps them feel relief and normal when someone has had a mutual experience. 

Please give your girl the gift of real help in managing her worry. Reserve her spot by sending an email here.

Summer 2019 Workshop Series

5th/6th grade July 15-18 Whole Girl Toolkit

7th/8th grade July 22-25 Worry Free ToolkitSubscribe

5th/6th grade July 29-August 1 Worry Free Toolkit
CURRENTLY FULL–WAITLIST

9th/10th grade August 5-8 Whole Girl/Worry Free Toolkit

Sign up at sierradator@gmail.com

More info at www.sierradator.com

Tina Parrish and Wise Girl Workshops

Tina Parrish, certified personal trainer, working hard to feel good.

Wise Girl Workshops is introducing Tina Parrish, a certified personal trainer, who is teaming up with Wise Girl Workshops to offer a fitness and body component to the several series of workshops this summer. Check out a little Q&A to get to know Tina and her work better and help you decide if Wise Girl Workshops is where your girl needs to be this summer!

How did you get into physical fitness instruction?

While I’ve always been active – I played both competitive and recreational sports in high school and college – I took movement for granted and didn’t think about making a career of it until my mid-thirties. I thought everyone moved like I did and that is wasn’t a special skill to have, so I didn’t listen to my inner voice.  It wasn’t until I started working in a community center as a swim instructor and was given an opportunity to teach water fitness that I witnessed a need for safe and effective movement, especially with older adults and those that were injured. I was also told I was good at it, and this pushed me to listen more to myself. 

What kind of clients do you work with?

I work with all ages and abilities, and think of everyone as a bio-individual who will respond to movement in a unique way. I use both the water and land to train; you don’t find a lot of on-land personal trainers who can unlock the power of water, and that’s one of my niches. I also like working with young girls/teens, and teaching them movement can help develop confidence and manage anxiety or other big feelings they are dealing with. 

How are you able to reach young girls/teens through movement? 

Remember my own vulnerability. Everyone who is asked to move is also being asked to if they are willing to be vulnerable, to do something they might not be good at, be embarrassed, or to even fail. Movement can actually push through a lot of these roadblocks and build something better inside and out. Young girls/teens need a positive outlet that is of their own creation, that isn’t hinged on a screen or the opinion of another. Something they can see has been there their whole life, and will be there tomorrow, giving them endless benefits. I aim to create “life-long movers” when I work with this population, getting them past the idea that fitness means competition or perfection, but rather movement is freedom, exploration, science and art. 

Dealing with teens, you might also be dealing with body image. Where you always happy with your body image? 

I’ve always been thin or what I technically know now is called ectomorphic, a body image term used for those who have difficultly gaining weight.  Although that sounds like the ideal problem to have, my struggle with body image feels just as real as anyone else’s. The desire for change can plague us all. The key is doing something about those feelings, and I find using movement makes myself and the clients I work with feel so much better about where health is headed. I think of losing weight or gaining muscle a side effect and not the main goal to feeling truly healthy, which also requires emotional and mental changes. 

What keeps you on the cutting edge of movement?

I never stop learning. That can be through ideas I pick up on social media, feedback from students, new certifications, or even great quotes. I tend to think I’m only as good as the last class I taught so I constantly push to make the next class better. Also, because exercise and medical science is always changing, I need to stay on top of concepts that could help one of my clients. Recent studies show positive effects of performing :20-second high-intensity intervals, so through this application I have been able to help one client control their blood sugar and another lower their blood pressure. What I learn can make a difference in someone’s life. 

What is currently exciting to you about the field of health and fitness?

Functional medicine excites me. Our current “sickcare” system is failing so many people, especially those with chronic metabolic or degenerative conditions like diabetes and Parkinson’s disease. Our overworked doctors and medical professionals, to no fault of their own, received conventional care training where the solutions involve drugs and a “sad” diet (the Standard American Diet of high carbs, low fat). If I use more of an integrative health coach approach with my clients, which means looking at their sleep, gut health or diet, stress, exercise, and even collaborate with other providers they might be working with such as a nutritionist or physical therapist, I can better get to the root cause of their issues. This is the functional medicine approach, and it helps people lose weight, get off pills, and feel better than they have in years. I learn a lot from field leaders like Chris Kresser and Dr. Mark Hyman.

You can find out more about Tina and her services here.

#1 Reason Your Daughter Needs A Worry Free Toolkit

Woman with hands in lap in white sweater and dress

Is it because you have a history of anxiety in your family?  Maybe.

It is because your child’s mind runs wild when she lays down to go to sleep, and she cannot seem to shut off her brain?  Maybe.

Is it because your daughter perseverates on details like, “What if I don’t get invited, or I don’t get an A on this project?” and cannot let the thoughts go?  Maybe.

While those are all good reasons you might consider a Worry Free Toolkit Workshop for your daughter from Wise Girls Workshops, that is not the primary reason your daughter needs one.

THE #1 REASON YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS A WORRY FREE TOOLKIT

Everyone deals with worry.

You might be thinking, “What?  That’s it?”

And I am saying, “Yup, that’s it!”

You see worry can become apart of our life for a moment in a time or in a way that lingers—-for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or even years.

Either way, worry is a normal human emotion.  It shows up for everyone at times.  Who couldn’t benefit from learning tools to recognize the feeling for what it is, developing tools to help care for yourself, and having some time to practice those skills?

What a gift, right?!

There are some other benefits for developing a Worry Free Toolkit:

  • Your daughter will feel more in control of herself when worry takes hold and will know she can care for herself.
  • Through the Wise Girls Workshops experience, kids will see they aren’t alone in terms of worrying and see many of their peers have similar fears.  This fact provides relief!
  • She will stop asking you to reassure her about things over and over and over and over….
  • Your daughter can recognize it in others and provide helpful support.
  • She will learn how feelings constantly change and while worry might feel big in the moment, we never get stuck in one feeling forever.

This Worry Free Toolkit business is good stuff, right?  Developing tools to cope with worry isn’t just for those who have a serious problem with anxiety.  We all need tools.  We all deal with it.  Everyone can benefit.

Summer 2019 Wise Girl Workshops!

Looking for something outstanding and different from all the other camps floating around out there? Want your girl to have fun, simultaneously learning about how to thrive socially and emotionally? Look no further! Wise Girl Workshops promises to be a unique experience geared towards girls in 5th/6th and 7th/8th and 9th/10th grades that will truly make a difference in their summer and life.

I am being serious about the make a difference in their life part. I have had girls and parents tell me what an impact this camp has had. One parent told me, “This camp changed my daughter’s life for the better. I am serious. It changed her life.” I had one girl who I saw years later tell me how much this camp helped her in managing the anxiety she feels. Parents will tell me their kids are still using their “coping cards.” I am always to honored and motivated to do more when I hear comments about the major impact Wise Girl Workshops has.

Yes!!! More is happening during Wise Girl Workshops Summer 2019. This year the awesome Tina Parrish, a talented and experienced Certified Personal Trainer, is ready to work with your girl about how to use fitness to nurture the mind and body, cultivate and sustain a healthy body image, utilize it as a tool to manage worry and big feelings, and develop a plan that can support who your girl is as an individual.

Ready to sign your Wise Girl up? Look no further!

SIGN UP HERE!!!

Sign Up Here!!!